Posted by Lisa Laree to Catching the Mosquito
10? 12? Years ago I was in a small group for songwriters and poets. We were given a creative assignment, to write about the Prodigal Son from the Father's point of view.
This was my response... and I just realized it's another diary, lol. It's also somewhere in the Inaccessible Facebook notes.
Dear
Dad,
Sorry
to leave while you were out; Joshua and Adonijah came by and were in a hurry,
so I left with them. I hope you understand.
Thanks
for giving me this chance! Don’t think I don’t love you…I do…but I’ve got
to get out from under all the expectations and restrictions here. I’ll
never find who I am if I don’t go out and find out what there is besides the
farm and this little village. There’s a whole world out there and I know
there are bigger and better things for me than just being the little
brother. I’m going for the big city and the bright lights and where
things are happening and people are doing important things. I’m going to
be SOMEBODY!
So
don’t worry about me. I have plenty to get me established, and I’ve got
all the plans made and laid out. I’ll come back rich and famous
someday…you’ll see.
The
guys are getting restless; I’d better go now.
All
my love,
Eliam
Day
1
So.
Today my son has left me. He has taken my present and his future and gone
out where I cannot follow, cannot guide, cannot help. He thinks it is
wisdom. I pray he survives. Adonai, watch over him and bring him
back. Spare him hunger and humiliation, if he will be spared.
If he will not, guard him through it and do not let it fail to teach him
what he must know. Remind him often that I love him. Amen.
Day
8
It
has been a week now. His brother says little but is very short tempered
with the animals and the servants. Surely he misses his younger brother
terribly. I cannot talk of Eliam just yet; the wound is too fresh, the
grief is too deep. One of the neighbors said that he heard Eliam had been
seen heading toward the part of town with the inns where women and wine are
cheap and available. I hope and pray that was a case of mistaken identity,
that Eliam would look for a respectable place to stay and not wander over to
the seedy side of town.
I
have moved my chair to the gate of the house; if Eliam comes home, I will
see him. No...when Eliam comes home, I will see him…
Day
31
One
month. I thought by now I would have begun to get used to the routine,
but I find my thoughts constantly going to Eliam…is he safe? Has he
secured his money so it cannot be stolen or swindled away? He was not
very savvy about such things; I worry that he will take up with people who will
take advantage of his good heart and generous spirit.
His
brother has picked up the slack and made a good plan for distributing the work
amongst the servants. But he still seems to me to be a smoldering coal; he
is angry often and has been increasingly hard to please. I shall have to
speak to him about treating the servants with respect. Whatever it is
that is upsetting him, it is not their fault.
Day
61
Still
no word from Eliam after two months. Aside from the occasional rumor that
he is living it up with friends and a girlfriend, I know nothing at all of what
is going on in his life. I am assuming he is still in the city, although
I don’t know that for sure. The last word I had was that he was staying
with some musicians, although that was through two or three connections and may
not have been true. I wish he’d write. He could write. Why
doesn’t he write?
I
spend the mornings and evenings in my chair at the gate. It is pleasant
to speak to the neighbors as they pass by, although they all are too deliberate
about not asking about Eliam. If he had died, they would have sat shiva
with me and mourned him, but a son who abandons his family is worse than
dead…ah, my son, did you really know what you were doing to your family?
Did you care? Adonai, cure him of his selfishness and self-centeredness,
purify his heart so that this pain will not be wasted. I can do nothing
for him now…he is in your hands. Deal with him as he must be dealt with
but remember mercy and bring him home. Amen.
Day
182
Half
a year has passed since my son walked out into the world and left me
desolate. His brother has worked diligently; the last of the harvest has
been stored and we are well ready for a bit of a rest. It has been a good
harvest and we have all we need. If only Eliam were here to celebrate the
harvest with us. The rumors have completely stopped now; I hear nothing
of him from those who travel to the city. The musicians he supposedly
befriended have moved on; he was not with them in the next town to which they
were reputed to have gone. I don’t know where he has gone
I
try not to think about this possibility, but I do not know if he is living or
dead.
It
is chilly now, sitting in the chair by the gate, and the days move by
slowly. I am feeling my age. I remember how Eliam would sit with me
and wait for his older brother to return from his studies with the rabbi; even
then he talked of things he wanted to do when he grew up. Lord, Adonai,
where is he? Does he think of us here at all? Bring him home….
Day
240
It
is cold this winter; we have not had such a cold winter in years. I
wonder where Eliam is, and if he is warm and fed, if he is happy, if he
successful, if he ever thinks of his family on the farm. I wrap up well
to sit by the gate, the dark sky and raw wind reflect my heart and
emotions. I realize I may never hear from Eliam; he could have gone far
away by now. He could be dead, and we will never know. With no word
at all of even a rumor of his whereabouts, I fear it is one or the other…either
he has traveled very, very far away or he has fallen to thieves or
illness. Adonai, as you love me, do not let me go to my grave without
news of my son.
I
am very glad for his brother; I don’t think we could have handled the cold if
he had not worked to pull in the straw for insulation; he has seen to the
animals and we have lost very few to the weather. He has been where I
could not be, and in every case has made the right choice. Still, he
speaks little, although he has improved his rough ways with the servants, he is
still curt and unhappy. Perhaps he worries about Eliam as well.
Day
307 – the last day!
I
must write this quickly, as there is much to do. Just before I left my
chair this morning, I saw someone coming down the road. As I waited, my
heart lurched…surely, surely that walk was familiar. I began to
walk towards him, hoping against hope that my instinct was correct, that this
was my boy returning again. The closer I got, the more sure I became, and
the faster I walked. That was his walk, even though he limped. That
was his tousled head, even though his hair was matted and unkempt. His
head was down, looking at the ground as he trudged down the road.
At
the moment I knew, I began to run. He heard my steps and looked up; his
eyes grew wide and he dropped to his knees. He was gaunt, haggard and
dirty, and his voice cracked and wavered as he spoke.
‘Dad!’
he choked, ‘I’m not worthy to be your son. I’ve made a mess of it.
I’ve lost everything. If you’ll just hire me as one of your servants,
I’ll be the best servant you’ve ever had. I’ll earn my keep. Just
let me stay here. Please…’ Tears were streaming down his face as he glanced up,
fear and despair plain to see in his eyes.
Tears
were streaming down my face as I pulled him to his feet and embraced his bony
frame. ‘You’re home! You’re home!’ was all I could manage to say,
over and over.
I
half held him up as we walked the last bit to the house together. By the
time we got to the gate, I had my voice back. I called for the servants
to take him and let him get cleaned up and dressed as a son of the house should
be dressed, then I called for others to kill the celebration calf and
make a feast.
His
older brother is plowing with the oxen in the far field…he will be so surprised
when he comes in for supper! Oh, we shall have a party tonight!
He’s
home! My son is home! The winter is over and the spring has come!
